Friends, do not fly Virgin Atlantic. I never thought my petite meatspace avatar could be cramped, but Virgin’s seats are intended for carnies (skinny ones only). The only way I got even 15 winks was to curl up into a frustrated little ball and hook my feet over the tray table. I swear I’m not normally that weird, but I’m also not normally caged like a veal calf at 35,000 feet.
So between Asia and London I watched:
Twilight. Damn, not nearly as bad as I thought. Really kind of…good? Probably only good because I was on the plane? The dry recycled air facilitated an emotional bond between me and Kristen Stewart’s pale, nuanced acting. Oh, young love. I also really liked the blue-toned colors of the movie. The little town of Forks, up there in the Pacific Northwest, is a little Twin Peaks with moss, fog, pick-up trucks, and creepy music.
I may have to watch this over and over again with alcohol, because it’s cheesily awesome. Edward’s bouffant hairdo doesn’t even look like it’s part of him. If you watch the trailer, you can see the best part, where Edward magically throws Bella on his back and flies. It makes me crack up every time. Plus, the vampires all have flour caked onto their faces! You’d think a franchise of this screaming magnitude could afford real make-up. Hilarious!
The Spirit. 10 minutes was all I could take. The people behind Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and Sin City must be so fucking embarrassed that this loser is taking up space in their genre.
The Day the Earth Stood Still. I managed about 30 minutes before realizing with relief that dry recycled air doesn’t short-circuit my brain into liking everything.
How to Lose Friends and Alienate People. Pretty funny, but also pretty forgettable. I had to think hard for days to remember the third movie I saw on that flight.
Choke. Thumbs up. It’s funny, it’s weird, it’s got Kelly MacDonald. Why, why isn’t she more famous?