intercontinental movie binge

Friends, do not fly Virgin Atlantic.  I never thought my petite meatspace avatar could be cramped, but Virgin’s seats are intended for carnies (skinny ones only).  The only way I got even 15 winks was to curl up into a frustrated little ball and hook my feet over the tray table.  I swear I’m not normally that weird, but I’m also not normally caged like a veal calf at 35,000 feet.

So between Asia and London I watched:

Twilight.  Damn, not nearly as bad as I thought.  Really kind of…good?  Probably only good because I was on the plane?  The dry recycled air facilitated an emotional bond between me and Kristen Stewart’s pale, nuanced acting.  Oh, young love.  I also really liked the blue-toned colors of the movie.  The little town of Forks, up there in the Pacific Northwest, is a little Twin Peaks with moss, fog, pick-up trucks, and creepy music.

I may have to watch this over and over again with alcohol, because it’s cheesily awesome.  Edward’s bouffant hairdo doesn’t even look like it’s part of him.  If you watch the trailer, you can see the best part, where Edward magically throws Bella on his back and flies.  It makes me crack up every time.  Plus, the vampires all have flour caked onto their faces!  You’d think a franchise of this screaming magnitude could afford real make-up.  Hilarious!

The Spirit.  10 minutes was all I could take.  The people behind Watchmen, V for Vendetta, and Sin City must be so fucking embarrassed that this loser is taking up space in their genre.

The Day the Earth Stood Still.  I managed about 30 minutes before realizing with relief that dry recycled air doesn’t short-circuit my brain into liking everything.

How to Lose Friends and Alienate People.  Pretty funny, but also pretty forgettable.  I had to think hard for days to remember the third movie I saw on that flight.

Choke.  Thumbs up.  It’s funny, it’s weird, it’s got Kelly MacDonald.  Why, why isn’t she more famous?

3 responses to “intercontinental movie binge

  1. Ah, I just missed you then- I was in London yesterday.
    Well, I love action/adventure/sci-fi/drama, so I’d probably find Twilight to be entirely watchable or possibly awesome. I’m an easy sell on this type of movie.
    The Spirit: never heard of it.
    The Day the Earth: I watched this on a plane too, I think. It was amazingly bad. It occupies the same space in my brain as War of the Worlds.
    How to Lose Friends: I thought the total highlight of that film was the hot chick playing Mother Theresa, and the outtakes of that sequence at the end. I was otherwise really shocked that they couldn’t do better than that. Funny in parts, zero quality story.
    Choke: I saw some ads for this in the NYT a while back, but don’t know anything about it.

    • I was just in Heathrow transiting and reading P&P&Z (book report coming soon). Not nearly as fun as your sunshiny mosh pit in Wales.
      Twilight has maybe 20 minutes of action and 120 minutes of anguished sighs. If you love bad cult films, though, omg it’s gonna be one for the ages. Like The Matrix, it just gets funnier every time. The Matrix started out well-received and then became ridiculous. Twilight just starts out ridiculous and will proceed to absurdity. The make-up! The flying with wires! The wannabe camera work! Oh it kills me.
      Dude, everybody knows Mother Theresa looked exactly like Megan Foxx when she was young and sprightly.
      Choke’s another book by the Fight Club author. It’s about a sex addict trying to take care of his demented mom (Angelica Huston being awesomely weird) in her final, institutionalized days. It’s pleasingly weird but imperfectly produced. Not as fun as an action/adventure thriller, but great if you watch it with plane-induced super-focus.

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